Two "phrases" to AVOID during a holiday mall visit

As we enter the holiday season, I need to warn you about the scourge that infests most shopping malls at this time- the seasonal hard-sell kiosks that sell miracle hand lotion packages.
At most malls they go by the name "Secret Spa." These annoying seasonal kiosks are manned by pirahna sales staff who harass poor shoppers with their relentless sales pitch for their crappy hand creams. I will now tell you their two standard come-on phrases, so you will be prepared and know when to RUN..

FIRST: "Try some..Try some!"
As you approach the kiosk, even if you do not make eye contact, the Secret Spa sales rep(s) will move towards you, obstructing your progress, extend the bottle of "miracle dead sea hand cream" in your direction and say "Try some.. Try some!" Usually there is a heavy accent associated, as virtually all these sales reps seem to be Slavic or some sort of Russian-type origin. In fact, I believe these people may be held agains their will and forced to sell miracle dead sea hand creme, in exchange for the promise of a green-card!

SECOND: "Can I ask you a question?
If you ignore them, they will then try to stop you in your tracks with a question, which ALWAYS is: "Can I ask you question?" That's the hook.. If you stop, they've got you. Once they reel you in with the feigned query, they will lead you deeper into a sales pitch until you feel like you have no choice but to purchase the crappy product-- I observed it in action, trust me on this! I saw these jerks pull this trick on two poor little nuns. NUNS!!

Ok, now you know the battle cry and tactics of the "Secret Spa" seasonal kiosk nazis. I lodged a complaint with the mall about them and I hope more people do. When I filed the complaint details the mall rep said to me "Good for you, I want to wring their necks myself!" I understand that malls need to make money, and these scumbags clearly pay rent for a few months. But, for me, they wrecked the shopping experience so much I am inclined to stay away from the mall (my experience happened at the Galleria Mall in Buffalo). My personal opinion is that "Secret Spa" is a scam that just shouldn't be justified with a kios at the mall, even if they pay rent for a few months. It's an ethical poopsicle, that's right POOPSICLE!!

If you've experienced "Secret Spa" or something of the sort, let me know. I'd love to hear your story and what you think of these sort of merchants.

Cheers to filing my first mall complaint form!