Things I learned in 'Pennsatucky'

Things I learned while visiting my relatives in the Nazareth "Pennsatucky" PA area...

Things I learned in “Pennsatucky”

1.A new accent is emerging. I call it “Pennsatucky” It's a combination of a traditional Eastern PA accent in which vowels are slightly accentuated, and a true southern drawl in which vowels are REALLY accentuated and drawn out! Peeeeeeeennsatucky!

2.My cousin Amanda is probably a chief proponent of the Pennsatucky dialect


3.Pennsatucky residents REALLY love tattoos. Not just single, small tats but large body-encompassing tats.

4.“It's a small, small, small, SMALL world” in Pennsatucky! Everywhere we went, my Pennsatucky cousins either saw someone in a car that was a teacher, friend, or friend-of-a-friend that they knew. Not to mention they kept referencing this guy 'Hansol' every damn place we went! It's a small, small, SMALL world in Pennsatucky indeed.


5.Code word “Flannel.” I discovered that Pennsatucky ladies loooooove plunging necklines and letting that jiggly cleavage hang out there in the wind for all to see. I also discovered that my cousins code-names such brazen displays of jiggly lipid collection “Flannel.” As in “Oh, flannel at 2-o-clock!” Ohhhhh, I wish I wouldn't have looked! Baaaaaad flannel in Pennsatucky

6.Pennsatucky dudes with Diesel pickup trucks really seem to think their F250's are Peterbuilt big rigs. I saw more 'big rig' steel exhaust stacks fabricated to these backwoods bugggies than I saw at the Monster Truck show I went to when I was 15! Come on dudes, that F-220 ain't turnin' into no Peterbuilt, and why in the hell do you wanna sound like a mud-buggy when you're takin your lady and her 'Flannel' out to Red Lobster on a Saturday night?!

7.Pennsatucky observation number 7--- A lot of ladies look like that Kate Goselin (Jon and Kate Plus 8) chic. Is there in-breeding going on in Pennsatucky or what?! Oh, and I spotted a lot who looked like one of my cousins as well. Weeeeeird. Maybe it's just the German influence. Or, maybe it's one too many games of Quoits with your Flannel relatives?!